Blogging the Genealogy?

My parents both wrote their life stories several years ago. I've been digging through all the old photos, letters, records, genealogy, etc. Boy, what a lot of stuff! Meanwhile, I've been trying to put them in some sort of order. 

My father wrote letters to my mother during the Korean War, and he sent photos upon photos. It's interesting to read the letters, and correlate the photos and souveniers he brought back. 

So, I'm blogging their stories.... here's the link to my mother's blog/story.

Death and Dying

The memorial service for my mother was last Saturday afternoon. It may not have been the Lutheran service that she expected, but it was spiritual and thoughtful. Dr. Herrington read her biography, Nancy read a poem by Mary Oliver, Melissa read "The Wedding Day" (a story my mother had written) and Jean Merroux gave a spiritual, uplifting talk on death and dying.

I've had only a few moments of sadness, maybe because this day has been a long time coming. It was two and a half years ago that Melissa and I brought her out to Sarasota. The expectation was that she would only survive another six months. But, she surprised us all, and had a great life for another two and a half years. She made friends, moved into an apartment, took classes. And, I got to spend more time with her. More time than I ever had spent during my lifetime.

No regrets.

Since dying is an event that no one has yet been able to avoid, it amazes me how terrified we are of the process. Transitioning is always difficult, and transitioning to the unknown is even more. Maybe it's because we look at what we have and have no accomplished and what we have become. Today my mother asked me, "What will become of me?" The answer, of course, is you have already become what you are. There is no more "becoming". I didn't respond. I don't think that's what she wanted to hear.

She is in peace, surrounded by her paintings, photographs, quilts, friends, furniture. The "stuff" of her life. But, the stuff that she has collected over the years. Souvenirs of the process of becoming. 

She has been in Glenridge (a retirement community) now for about 3 years. She's made many lasting friends. They wander over to her room, hold her hand, tell her stories. These people are near her age, some older, some younger. Mostly they comment on her care, how peaceful she is and how grateful they are that they too will be able to enjoy the same level of care. These friends have been a solace for me as they look at life through their experiential eyes, and help me to see that it's all okay, that we've made the right choices.

Rock and Roll

Lis, Baby Chris and Ian spent Thanksgiving weekend with us. Here is a photo of Chris climbing (as always) into a chair, wearing a dress that has been in the family for four generations. His energy is boundless! Chris discovered the rocks that I have in the fireplace. Somehow I overlooked them while "baby proofing" the house. At first, they seemed harmless enough as he smacked them together like a tambourine. But then, he decided that he should start throwing them. Did I mention I live in a glass house? Everytime he would lift the rocks over his head, we would launch ourselves towards him. Great fun.

Belial

Finally got to the pottery studio today to finish up some glazing, trim a pot or two and take home my latest creations. This is the famous demon pot. I figure I can write down all the demons that haunt me, put them in the pot and they will be held there by the head demon.

This particular demon's name is Belial.. chief of all devils, he brings about wickedness, worthlessness, lies and guilt. Belial commands 80 Legions of Demons and presides over the Northern Reaches of Hell. But, Belial is not such a bad guy, he has been known to watch over young children while they sleep. In the Satanic Bible Belial symbolizes true independence, self-sufficiency and personal accomplishment. And, this is a bad thing I ask?

It occurs to me that there are many kinds of demons from the demon of hilarity to the demon of waste. This definitely can be a project, the mind turns with possibilities! Take, for example, Cresil, the demon of impurity and laziness. What would she/he look like? A big slothful sleeping demon consuming large quantities of chocolate bonbons?

Pain

Two years ago, Melissa, Ian and I flew out to California, sprung my mother from the hospital and flew her to Sarasota for recovery. The warm air, happy people, good medical care (!) brought her back to life. Since then she has been enjoying new friends, pottery classes, watercolor, fitness and some writing.

Yesterday my mother called and said she was in terrible pain and nothing was working. We went to the doctor, got tests, got medications and moved her to respite care. We'll see what the test results bring, then make decisions. In any case, it's pretty frightening. She seems to be as miserable as she was when I picked her up from California two years ago.

As I was leaving her room last night she told me she didn't deserve such a good daughter.

Brutus

Brutus, a French Bulldog, is a new addition to our family. Along with Nigel, a labradoodle, and Caesar, a min-pin, we have quite a menagerie. Brutus is still learning all the rules, but is convinced that he will be the alpha dog when he grows up. Nigel is holding him back and constantly reminding him of appropriate behavior, mostly ignored.